Outlook

No, not the Microsoft thing, I don’t want to get into that right now. I’m thinking about how we view the world. I’m spending the day with my mother today. She has an appointment with a doctor out of town so I am her Uber driver. We had to drive several hours, so I planned extra time to allow for any issues that might crop up. As we waited for her appointment time to arrive, she began to fill the quiet with chit chat. It started off fairly benign. (It usually does.) Then she got deeper and deeper into fear and bias. (She usually does…)

As I tried to explain to her how it is that I can have such a positive outlook on life she repeatedly used words like “stupid” and “dumb” to describe her thoughts about my way of living.

She allows paranoia and fear to drive her actions. It’s really pretty sad. Once she starts heading down the negative alley, she goes full throttle. Then the farther she goes, the meaner she gets. When she started in on how I was allowing my wife to get robbed and beaten by “druggies and loados” I had pretty much had enough. It’s a difficult thing, because she’s a known commodity. I try to set boundaries, but I also feel obligated to help my mother.

So I put on a thick skin with each visit. I accept that given enough time, she will get nasty and belligerent. And I try to ignore. I can only focus my own thoughts, not hers. I can’t change her outlook, but I can make sure that she doesn’t corrupt mine with her negativity. I can let her plumb the depths while I…

—Rise Up!!