I caution people against expectations. I usually say that expectations are premeditated resentments. We tend to write the final chapter of the story before we have all of the plot elements. We also tend to forget about that favorite author ploy – the surprise twist at the end.
I fell into that trap this past week.
I went to go and register at the police for what I thought was the last time. It’s been 20 years and I was eligible to petition to be removed from registration requirements. To say that I was happy going in does not paint the entire picture. I was walking on air. Expectations…
Then I read the bottom line of the form that ended with the word “Lifetime”.
All of the air left the balloon. I was crushed. I still am. I’m trying to find the hope. I’m trying to find the silver lining. I’m trying to be the positive thinker that everyone said I was on my birthday podcast. It wasn’t working.
I can get my brain to do the psychological part of it, but the emotional part is not coming at the same pace. I’m caught between “knowing” and “feeling”; between the head and the heart. So for now, I’m feeling down. It happens. Hopefully soon I’ll be able to find a way to…