Friday was one of those days that I don’t necessarily relish. I could see in advance that things were not going to be pleasant for a bit. I even knew in advance and agreed to set some of the conditions that allowed for the unpleasantness. Yet still, with all this “foreknowledge”, I stormed into the rain and complained about getting wet.
One of the biggest tenets of recovery is that consistency in your program is critical. People are often unstable and they need to be able to predict what is coming next. Changes in routines are going to happen, but we like to try to minimize their frequency. Through “circumstances beyond our control” we were moved into a different venue for our group on Friday. There was a scheduling conflict and we were asked to accommodate a change. I wasn’t pleased, but these things happen, right? I agreed to the change days in advance, but as the calendar drew us closer to Friday I got more and more bothered about my decision. I let myself hear that my group was “less than”; that we were once again seen as “those people”.
As I drove up early on Friday afternoon to try to move and set up equipment I discovered that I was woefully under equipped to do things in a way that we had become used to doing them. Cue the angry voices and accusations in my mind. Galatians 5:22 & 23 tell us about the fruit of the spirit. It’s fairly well known in Christian circles. The lead in verses (19-21) tell us about the works of the flesh. Nestled in there amongst the foul and filth is “fits of anger”. Yeah, that was me late Friday afternoon.
I’d love to tell you that I realized my mistake and got over myself quickly, but that’s just not the way it played out. I pouted and fumed. I figuratively stamped my feet and pounded my fists. I wanted to quit. I wanted to light a match and burn it all down. Not a particularly great look for the Ministry Leader of a recovery program…
We did not have the requisite equipment to do an electric worship service so we opted for an acoustic set. We went upnplugged, including no microphones. That meant we had to sing loud in order to be heard well. Sing loud…now that sounded like something I was up for! We practiced our worship set and I began to calm down. I let God soothe me through the worship. I let myself laugh. Then God happened…
On a night where we were not in our normal venue; on a night when the church campus had dozens of people coming for a completely different event; on a night where it was all supposed to go wrong we had our biggest attendance in months including 5 brand new faces and 2 others who were there for the other event, but committed to returning next week for CR. God is so good. Just when I was reaching for the depths He showed me how to…
–Rise Up!!
Jesus is so proud of you both. Your commitment and passion for CR is endless and it shows. Thank you for being there every Friday for a safe place for ME
LikeLiked by 1 person