Ups and Downs

I’m a Pittsburgh Steelers fan. I’ve been one pretty much as long as I’ve been a football fan. Our history during my life has been pretty good, having won more Super Bowls than any other team. But like everything else there have been good times and bad times. Last week I sat in my father-in-law’s house and watched my team get crushed by the Eagles. And then last night I sat in my son-in-law’s house and watched them absolutely thrash Kansas City. Ups and downs…

A similar thing happened to my on Friday. I had a series of “non-swellular” events happen: frustrating meetings; weak excuses; ignored thoughts; people’s problems leaking into my day… just a whole load of negativity dumped into my life stream. By the time CR was ready to begin I was in a pretty down mood and was not feeling like doing it at all. I was tired of putting on a good face. I was sick of being positive. I was fed up with looking for silver linings. I just wanted to go home and bury my feelings under a big ol’ pile of carbohydrates!

But I didn’t. I know that one of the toughest parts of being in recovery is just hanging on through the tough times. I know that people will let me down in the same way that I let them down. I also know that I need to work my steps in order for them to work. I know that I need to keep coming back. So I put my teaching into practice for myself. And the funny thing is that it worked! By the end of the night I was feeling pretty good about things.

Is it frustrating to invite way more people than the amount that shows up? Sure! Is it maddening to spend the week preparing and for a room that is less than half full? Absolutely. Do I get sad when I pour so much into something that feels so important only to see others ignore it? Most certainly. But I know that I can only be responsible for my recovery and for providing an opportunity for others to participate. I can’t force anyone to show up, that’s on them. So for now I’ll just remain thankful for those who do and continue to pray for the others to arrive. See ya Friday at 7!

 

-Rise Up!

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